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On her screen, images of men appeared and then disappeared to the left and right, depending on the direction in which she wiped. I felt a deep sense a rejection — not personally, but on behalf of everyone at the bar. I wondered to myself, is this what online dating has done to us? Of course, others have worried about these sorts of questions before. For gay couples, it’s more like two out of every three. The interview has been edited for length and clarity. You have one of the most unique data sets about modern romance. What have you learned about how people date today? Well, one of the first things you have to know to understand how dating — or really courtship rituals, since not everyone calls it dating — has changed over time is that the age of marriage in the United States has increased dramatically over time.

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If he asks you for your opinion on something, be sure to agree with him and voice any differing ideas very subtly and with great caution. Avoid any comment that might threaten his ego at all costs! So it goes without saying that most Greek men are massive hypochondriacs.

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Because, like me, if you’re gay and in your 50s, you watched virtually all of your male friends and acquaintances die agonizing deaths, often at what should have been the prime of their lives, with little support or compassion from elected leaders, often families, in a war, a holocaust, that didn’t mark them as heroes or innocent, only cold dust. And because to die while your friends died around you, daily, memorial services filling up your datebooks like smartphones now fill up cocktail parties, and to be told you deserved it, is hell on earth.

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